Where are the gentlemen ??

jaigurudev:)

im quite amazed that i am unable to identify a single gentleman in my age group amongst all the guys i ve come across .. now this is not about just opening doors , pulling back the chair and stuff.. its an attitude thing ..
i think it stems primarily from a respect for women and manifests as genuine gestures and refined language .. (oyie this is sounding like a research paper ..lol too much time in the lab) .. its definitely not about the guy paying the bill everytime ..

Chivalry for lack of a more contemporary word has been in a coma for about two decades i think .. since all the gentlemen i know are friends of my father's or bau and dinesh bhaiya :) :) They are a different league altogether .. These people are a pleasure to have a conversation with as they possess the art of relaxed and stimulating speech .. words are chosen with the ease and care of a mother picking ingredients for a dish she's made a million times .. they also listen with the same composure and interest ; and you can see that they are there a 100%.

As far as gestures are concerned ; i have seen quite a few people fake it and you can make out in a blink.

I remember very clearly how my dad would listen to me even when I was a gawky teenager with a look that made me feel like a really important person and i remember how awesome it was to have a grown up treat me not like a kid but like a lady :) It was how he spoke to me and the respect and genuine interest that i could see in his eyes. This was apart from the roaring fun we had ; laughing on the silliest jokes and watching repeats of tom and jerry.. so please do not confuse chivalry with boring snootiness ..

I think true chivalry can not be taught in etiquette classes and cant even be bred in by your upbringing entirely .. it is just love and respect ; unconditional; you can be chivalrous to the lady working in the grocery store the same way you are chivalrous to your mom or your girlfriend :)

I wish guys would spend more time brushing up their manners than lint off their shoulders..

love
tanu